A Day for the Record Books!

Today was the day it was all supposed to happen! My "estimated due date" March 30, 2007. I day that was circled on every calendar that I owned, a day that I dreamed about for a long time. A day that was going to be a beautiful rainbow over a sad time (the day before the 1st anniversary of my miscarriage). I even had plans on what I would do today if Little Man C hadn't made his debut (we were going to go to dinner and a movie and WALK WALK WALK the mall).

C, however, had different plans. Instead of sitting here with a big belly, I'm sitting here with a baby that is almost 3 weeks old. He is currently in his sling sleeping against my belly, so it's almost like I'm pregnant, okay so not really!

I never could have fathomed how much one little person can change your life. How much you can love something so small, and knowing that as he grows I'll only love him more and more. Of course, there will be moments that aren't as beautiful as others, but we're in it as a family for the duration. At times I feel entirely overwhelmed by the new role that I have to fulfill as his mother. So many things that I should do or shouldn't do; rules that I should follow or disregard; feelings that I try to fight away, like how life was so much simpler without him, then the wave of guilt that flushes over me the second after I have that thought. Mostly I try to think about it as our adventure (thus the name of the blog) some things we know what or how we want to do it, other things we'll just make up as we go. The best thing someone told me was you're an expert already, and the kid doesn't know otherwise. We are his whole world right now and if we mess up he won't only NOT know, but he won't remember. Conversely, he is our whole world and I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without him! C, Mommy & Daddy love you!!
Sappiness over, regular blogging to continue tomorrow!